Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She's the barista slut.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
