I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
