Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
