If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
