bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
