Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
