Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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