Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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