whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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