non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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