So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
