Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
