Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
