Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm like, not good at living.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
