I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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