Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
