Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
