dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize