If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
