You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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