so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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