can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
