Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize