why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize