mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
