i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
