went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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