no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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