You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
