Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
