I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
