Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize