I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
As shirtless as possible
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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