So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
