hotel room ftw
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize