dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
