I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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