please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize