fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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