His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
