Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
