it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize