Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
