i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
