Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize