giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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