fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
