RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
it's like heaven, but drunker
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
They have beer where we have blood.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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