Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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