Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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