Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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