woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
