Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize