I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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