I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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