so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
