We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
