Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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