ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
