what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
