just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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