You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
