Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
