no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
