Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
