I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
