Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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