i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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