I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
