i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
