Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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